Behavior and Rewards in the Classroom

During the year, the children in my grandson's kindergarten class either accrued or lost play money depending on class behavior. They lost money for talking, playing with pencils and very minor infractions. On the last day of school, the teacher held an auction so the children could use all the play money they had earned to bid for toys donated by all the parents. Out of the 28 children, only my grandson and another child had "insufficient funds" to purchase anything.
According to a friend who was there, the two children were crying their eyes out. How could a teacher be so hard and deny these two anything? Couldn't she have given them a sticker? What kind of an impression does the teacher leave on these children? My grandson now says how MEAN this teacher is. - Upset
Answer: It's quite unfortunate that the last day of school was so unhappy for your grandson. The teacher should have thought about how traumatic the auction could be for some of the children. Hopefully, there were other events that left all of the children feeling good about the year.
It's natural for a grandmother to be sympathetic when a grandchild is upset. Be careful, however, about how much sympathy you give your grandson, as it can reinforce the idea that he was wronged. He was not entitled to special consideration. Once the teacher had set the standards for the auction, she could not suddenly cave in and change them at the end of the year. We are not crazy about providing children rewards for good behavior in this way. There was way too long a time between rewards and behavior. It would have been far better to have held frequent auctions during the year to help all of the children understand early on that poor behavior stops them from receiving awards.
Stop dwelling on this experience with your grandson. Instead, concentrate on those experiences that were positive to him at school so he is eager to return in the fall. Also, devote time to making sure that he knows how to behave properly, and does so in all kinds of situations.