Overcoming Shyness

My 12-year-old daughter is in seventh grade in a middle school. She is a sweet, kind person, but she is also very shy and insecure. She is having a very difficult time staying close to her friends. One on one, she does fine, but in a group setting, even a group of her close friends, she becomes very self-conscious and doesn't say anything. She gets left out of whatever is going on and feels absolutely miserable. - Too Shy
Answer: Middle school can be a very difficult time for shy children. It would certainly help if your daughter can learn to become more comfortable in groups with her peers. Try to encourage her to become involved in a volunteer program with a good friend. She will not be as self-conscious because she will be concentrating more on helping others than on worrying about being part of a group. At school, encourage her to join a service organization so she will be able to work in a more comfortable environment with her peers. Shy children can also build self-confidence by tutoring and baby-sitting younger children.
It is difficult to give middle schoolers advice. You certainly don't want to tell your daughter not to be shy. However, you can encourage her to become involved in things where sociability is not the major activity. If she has any musical or athletic talents, she should sign up for the band, orchestra, choir or a sports team. It is much easier to be a participant in one of these groups.