My sixth-grader wants to handle her homework all by herself. She would like me to trust her to handle it. This isn't happening, just like in previous years. Where should parents' involvement with homework begin and end? -- Homework Problems
Answer: We applaud your child's desire to do her homework independently. This is what she should be doing in sixth grade. The fact that she isn't handling it by herself might mean that she has learned to rely too much on your help in the past. Have you been the one to remind her to get started, helped her a lot with each assignment, or always checked that her work was correct?
Don't just jump in to help anymore. Your role now should be only to offer help when it is requested and truly needed. Then, you should just suggest that your child reread directions, study textbook explanations and class notes, and rework similar exercises. This will help her become independent. If more help is needed, focus it on helping her learn the steps she needs to take to handle the work. Of course, it is always appropriate to offer encouragement and express interest in what she is doing.
At this point, you can back entirely away from the homework issue and give the responsibility completely to your daughter as requested. This includes no comments or questions about whether it is done. You might want to make it clear that there will be consequences if her grades fall below a certain level. If children have adequate study skills and maturity, this approach can work.
We've also found that a homework contract negotiated between parent and child is an effective tool, as it can give the child some structure in getting homework done. Contracts typically specify homework times, places and a few rules. They might also state how children will use their time if they do not have definite assignments. Some contracts will have a system of rewards or penalties. Go to "Skill Builders" in Resources to find a sample contract.