A Young Child's Adjustment to Day Care

I'm about to put my 11-month-old son in a day-care center three days a week. Now I find myself very frightened! Will he be able to adjust or simply be too aware of the separation from me? - First-Time Mom
Answer: Of course your son is going to be aware of the separation from you. In fact, Dr. Alice Honig, Professor Emerita of Child Development at Syracuse University, says that the period between 11 and 13 months is the time when separation anxiety is the highest. Nevertheless, she adds reassuringly that some children this age thrive in a play group for a few hours several times a week, and some even thrive for a few hours daily in a fine, warm and individualized child-care program. Also, some children do not have much stranger anxiety, although about two-thirds do. Your child might be one who adjusts quite well in a program with a loving caregiver. If you are putting your child in day care just because you want additional socialization for him, you might consider waiting until the middle of his second year, when separation anxiety typically lessens.
We realize that, unfortunately, many mothers have no option other than to put their young children in day care. If this is the case with you, choose the center very carefully. You want your child assigned to a specific caregiver who understands young children, will take the time to talk lovingly to your son, especially during feeding and diaper-changing time, will use his name frequently and will sing to him. Before enrolling him in a center, spend time there checking out whether he will receive the loving care he needs.
If you put your young son in day care, the transition will be much easier for him if you can stay with him at first and only have him attend for a few hours. It definitely takes time to build a loving, trusting relationship between children and their caregivers. Then, when you both are home again, sit and cuddle and read together to make the transition back to being together easier.