Helping a Gifted Child Find Friends

Our 11-year-old fifth-grader is quite gifted. He's tops in everything academic, excels at and loves playing the piano, but he is inept in sports. He even went to summer basketball camp but was cut from the school team.
He desperately wants to have friends but is somewhat socially awkward. In his class, there are only eight boys, who all love football. He tries; however, he can't talk football. When we have kids over, they have a good time. Also, the teacher says the other kids are nice to him.
Every social setback distracts him so much that his academic performance slips to A- grades. His loneliness is quite painful to us and to him. How can he get some buddies so he won't be the kid sitting alone on the bus on field trips? - A Lonely Child
Answer: With only eight boys in your son's class, the possibilities for finding a buddy with similar interests could be limited. Friendships typically develop because children share similar interests. You mentioned music. Have you looked in your community for a musical group for children? A good place to start is your local symphony or college. Also, why don't you look for a Saturday program for gifted children in your area? It could be a chess team, a bridge group or a science program. If your son is able to participate several hours a week in a group that he enjoys, it could give him some buddies outside of school. It could also lead to improved social skills and greater self-confidence around his peers in the classroom.
If talking sports is the road to finding friends in his class, a gifted child should be able to become knowledgeable about the subject. Knowledge isn't enough, however; he needs some enthusiasm for sports. Isn't there someone in your family who can introduce him to the fine points of football, basketball or baseball by watching games with him on TV? Couldn't you take him and some classmates to local high-school and college sports events? This could be an easy way for him to bond with others in the class.
The trouble with joining a sports team in fifth grade is that many of the children might have already been playing the game for years. If your son truly has an interest in a sport, you will need to get him more instruction and practice time so he can catch up with his peers. Playing with an older child in the neighborhood might be just what he needs. Plus, there are teams in most communities that have no-cut policies that help children gain skills.