Adujusting after a Divorce

I am writing for my 11-year-old stepdaughter. So far this year, she seems to be having a lot of trouble adjusting to the divorce and getting her schoolwork done on time.
When I saw her latest report card, her grades seemed to have dropped considerably since last semester. If it were only one subject, I would say that she was just having a little trouble with the material. With two homes (one with us and one with her mom and her mom's boyfriend) to adjust to, I think that the slipping grades need to be nipped in the bud. I passed my concerns of her non-adjustment on to my husband; however, he seems to think that the divorce has no bearing on the situation.
Please let me know if this seems to be a problem before I approach her mother and father together. I just do not want this to be a bad time for her at school. -- Worried Stepmom
Answer: The drop in grades could be due to the divorce or some other cause. At your stepdaughter's age, she may have just started middle school, which can be a very difficult transition resulting in lower grades for many children. In any case, both families need to be on the same page regarding how to handle this drop in grades. It is serious and will not necessarily disappear with time.
Suggest to your husband that he have everyone meet with your stepchild's guidance counselor and teachers to talk over the child's drop in grades. The teachers should be able to shed a lot of light on what has been happening in their individual classes and what kind of special help is needed, if any. The counselor should be able to help everyone find a way to work together to help the child.
Because your stepdaughter is having problems getting her schoolwork done on time, both families need to adopt and follow the same homework routine for her. As always, we advise parents to have their children study for a certain amount of time every night whether or not they have homework. Your stepdaughter should be working about one hour every night in a spot where the families can observe what she is doing.