Parental Homework Help -- How Much

My fifth-grader has never found school to be easy. In the past, he has kept his head above water because I have worked with him a lot. This year, my son’s teacher doesn’t want parents to help with homework. He can’t always handle it on his own, so I’ve had to explain some of the work to him.
My son was so afraid that the teacher would think that I’m helping him with his homework that he asked me to write a note. The teacher did not believe the note. Why does this teacher want to stop parents from helping their kids? — Frustrated
Answer: The question always is: How much parental help with homework is appropriate? Apparently, this teacher thinks none — definitely not a typical answer. The teacher also seems to think that you are providing too much help. You, on the other hand, think your son needs the help you are giving.
Before you go and talk to the teacher about exactly what your role should be in helping your child, you need to be aware that there is such a thing as too much parental help with homework. It can rob children of learning how to learn on their own. It can make children feel stupid — incapable of doing the work. It might make children too dependent on parental help. An active teaching role for parents is most appropriate in the early grades for students experiencing difficulty. On the other hand, we fully realize that some help from you might be absolutely essential in helping your son succeed in school.
You might not have an easy conversation with this teacher, as the teacher did not believe your note. You might wish to have another person present at this meeting.