My son is flunking most of his classes due to not turning in his assignments. He shows no sign of problems, such as depression or drugs. He's doing homework at home, but obviously not all of it. He's been involved in sports, but he can no longer participate because of his grades. I've taken things away that he enjoys, but how much is too much? And how should I reward him? He doesn't seem to be concerned with his grades. I want to catch this problem and work with him at solving it before high school next year. - Baffled
Answer: You have good intentions; however, there is not much time between now and the start of high school to turn things around for your son. Don't try to go it alone, as there are so many people at your son's school who should be able to help you. Start by having your son's counselor set up and oversee a meeting with you and all of his teachers. This will give you the true story about why your son is flunking classes. It is probably far more complicated than not turning in assignments.
Be sure to ask about testing and special help that might be available for your son. Schools do not always volunteer this information. Find out if he could have a supervised study period, extra tutoring help before or after school, or a revised schedule of classes.
There are many reasons why children don't turn in their homework. Some students are disorganized, and some don't have the energy or motivation to do the work. Others might see it as winning a power struggle with their parents. But for most children, the problem is not being able to do the work. That is why getting your son special help is so important.
Stop taking things away; it has obviously not worked. Your son is still not turning in homework. While rewards rarely work in the long run, you could try offering him something that he really wants for improved grades in just one subject. Let him select the subject, because he will know where he can succeed, and then make sure that you are able to provide the agreed-upon reward.
Besides some special help in one or more subjects, your son might need to improve his homework study skills. Reading a study-skills book together could be helpful. It also could pay big dividends to have him work several nights a week on his homework with the help of a successful high-school student.