Don't Retain Child in Kindergarten

At 6, my son is the oldest in his kindergarten class. His teacher has just recommended that he stay another year in kindergarten. She says that he doesn't recognize all the letters in the alphabet, so he is not yet ready to learn to read in first grade. I am worried about him being the oldest by two full years when he gets to first grade. Should he be retained? -- Very Uncertain
Answer: You decidedly need to have a chat with your son's teacher right away. Find out why he hasn't learned the letters of the alphabet. Can he say them? Can he sing the alphabet song? How many letters can he recognize? When you talk to the teacher, find out exactly what he needs to know to be ready for first grade. You have the entire summer to work with him on this or to use a tutor.
Be sure to discuss with the teacher if she thinks that your son has a learning problem. If so, try to have him tested before the end of this year so he can receive the help he may need at the start of next year. It also would be very wise to check that he doesn't have a vision or a hearing problem.
Retention does not usually work, as the lessons are usually the same and are not likely to work any better the second time around. Furthermore, the retention will make your son much older than his classmates throughout his schooling. This increases the likelihood that he will drop out without completing high school.
You must be very proactive this summer in seeing that he learns to recognize the letters of the alphabet. Work primarily on those he does not know, but have fun doing it. This is important.
You can ask the teacher for worksheets, use children's alphabet books and workbooks, games and online alphabet-recognition activities. Do not let a day go by without doing some work on the alphabet. Stay with a letter until he can recognize it easily. Frequently review the ones he has learned. And have him identify letters on menus, billboards, games and food items wherever you are several times a day.